Sunday, February 26, 2012

Ennis's Dicks and a Zombie Love Letter

Dicks

Story: Garth Ennis
Art and Cover: John McCrea




This is undeniably the craziest comic I have ever read. Hands down. No contest.
The main story follows Dougle and Ivor around Belfast City. Ennis goes straight into the action as Dougie is racing Ivor to a toilet before he shits himself. They stop at Ivor’s uncle Shuggies and Ivor is forced to baby sit Shuggie’s pet snake, Eve. For most of the story the snake is used
randomly to torment people, until it gets loose in the pub. She later appears out of a man’s fly as he is set to piss. The man happens to be wearing a shirt that says, “I’ve got a two foot cock.” Sadly, the snake gets flattened under the wheels of an army truck. The insanity continues with Uncle Shuggie dropping dead (heart attack after learning of Eve’s flattening). Dougie gets married and like every good friend does, Ivor throws Dougie a bachelor party. Ivor spikes Dougies beer with something that will make him have violent shits while on his honeymoon. In the morning, Dougie is found (by the same army guys that flattened the snake) butt naked tied to the back of his van with a giant dildo hat and the words “I Fuck Sheep” emblazoned across his chest. After the reception, Ivor goes to give his best man speech. “Dougie and Valerie, God bless yez both.” Ivor screams as he whips his pants down revealing his large hairy ass (complete with portraits of the couple on his ass cheeks) and projectile poos into the crowd. The craziness ends with the fellas in the hospital…as it should be.
After the main story, it gets even better. There are a bunch of one or two page shorts that happen to be my favorite part of this issue, such as:
“How the fuck did they do that?”
“Trio, the fucking whore.”
“The history of wanking.”
“Great Belfastmen in history.”
“Just give me a beer”- starring Mick O’Lobb and Buddy Wiser. It is a really funny and interesting few pages to say the least.
“Bad ideas for super heroes #2433- which happens to be the Abortor. That’s right, his catch phrase is “Coat-hanger On.”
Having not read a ton of Ennis’ stuff I am unsure about his intentions. Was he trying to offend shit tons of people? Do people expect this from Ennis or was this one of those moments in his life when he says, “I’m Garth Ennis?” I’m going to write this, you’ll read it, be offended, and love every minute of it. He might not have thought that, but I did.
I can’t wait for issue two. I can’t wait to see how much more Ennis can come up with. Mostly, I hope he continues the shorts. They offend and entertain me the most. The art was pleasing and really interesting.
So, if you are looking for a change of pace, or a good laugh, or maybe just a reason to hate, buy this title. Now if you'll excuse me, I need a shower.



Nazi Zombies #1


Story: Joe Wright
Art: Ben Dunn



This title was originally to be released weeks ago, but for whatever reason was not. I have been extremely disappointed weeks in a row because of it's absence from my pulled books. I was rather surprised to get it this week, but it was well worth the wait. I fell madly in love with it after the first time I read it.
I don’t want to hear any BS about glorifying Nazi scum or anything about that. That’s not how it is at all. Nazi’s are still the bad guys only they are zombies (go figure). Zombies are the trendy “in thing” at the moment. Thanks mostly to The Walking Dead comic and T.V. show. That being said, Zombies are everywhere and it really takes something special to stand out in the crowd.
The Nazi SS enlisted a group of scientists to create an invincible soldier. You can guess where that goes from there.
I like the fact that both the European and African fronts are both included.
The art and writing are both, in my humble opinion, fantastic. The cover of the book was bad ass as well.
This title is from now on rooted firmly on my pull list. I haven’t been this excited about a new title in a very long time. This oddity turned out to be a real treasure. Maybe I am just a sucker for a good zombie regardless of its political beliefs. Read this one at all costs. You don’t need both kidneys but you need this book…..all the cool kids have it, so steal it from them.



Madman

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