REVIEW: Klaus #1 (of 6)

Written by: Grant Morrison
Illustrated by: Dan Mora
Review: Will Dubbeld

So I hear Grant Morrison is writing Santa Claus' origin story, which is absolutely insane if you stop and think about it. On the other hand, an equally logical response is, "well of course Wacky Grant is writing a Santa Claus origin story, that makes perfect sense."

So clearly I preordered it. My love/hate relationship with Grant Morrison compels me to try out almost everything Grant writes, as I have clearly failed a Will Save vs. his Chaos Magics.
That's clever on a couple levels, folks . . .

REVIEW: The Amazing Spider-Man #1-3

Writer: Don Slott
Penciler: Giuseppe Camuncoli
Inker: Cam Smith
Colorist: Marte Gracia
Review: Madman

First off, level the plane out . . . Secret Wars Part Deuce is over and we survived, although the MU . . . not so much. Things are so mixed up and coo-coo bonkers over at Marvel right now. Everything you thought you knew, everything you loved in the continuity of your super friends has gone the way of the buffalo. That’s right, ‘tis no more . . . aaannnnd I hate it already. Maybe I’m just old school? Maybe, just maybe, I’m being a hater? The fact is I’m sick and tired of the Big Two rebooting every other week. I get that they do it, because it brings in the $$ and puts the comic n00b on the same level as the veteran reader as far as long term knowledge goes. Screw that! Write quality works and spare us the $6 first issues. At a certain age the cute sassy little kid turns into a real annoying jerk. So I shelled out the $6 because . . . Spider-Man . . . Marvel . . . Never a question, but for $6 someone is getting my opinion.

So the whole deal is Spidey’s gone global . . . oh yay. The first panel of the first page is Parker showing off his fancy computer watch, while in a commercial for Parker Industries’ tech , and he says “With great power . . . comes greater speed, storage, and battery life”. Yep. Told you I hated it.

The 2^nd page opens with a high-speed car chase through the streets of Shanghai. In the rabbit car we have members from the Leo Sect of Zodiac’s forces. In the pursuit car . . . er, umm, pursuit Spidermobile . . . we find Spider-Man and Mockingbird. I dig Mockingbird. I do not dig the Spider-Car. It looks ridiculous, and it’s tacky as hell. Things get worse. It sticks to walls and at one point it actually transforms into a giant flying spider . . . that’s right. It would appear it grows legs and flies. I told you I hated it. The rest of the comic goes as you can imagine. Spidey and Mockingbird beat up the bad guys with their Spider-Tech, and then we get invited to the marriage of Max Modell and his partner Hector. The book goes on and Spidey tussles with Zodiac some more, and then the strangest thing happens: the cover’s promise of an “oversized and action packed first issue” evaporates into thin air as I realize that by “overstuffed” Marvel means full of gratuitous teasers for every other Spider-Person book Marvel is dropping. Yay. I hate it.

So far my previous doubts are justified. I hate the addition of all the tech. I hate how Peter has totally become Tony Stark. I hate it. I hated just about everything about this first issue except Mockingbird. I dig Mockingbird.

Issue 2

First off this issues cover was as bad as the cover to the first issue. They both are very turn-offish for me. Alex Ross, you have failed this city.

I’m really bummed about this new Spider-Stark concept. This issue continues to push the topic of Peter relying more and more on his fancy new tech. Ya see, two issues in and The Zodiac has already stolen Pete’s personal Super-Spider-Tech-Watch and of course the world will end if the good guys can’t retrieve it. The good guys being Spider-Man (who is posing as Peter Parker’s bodyguard . . . ), the Prowler (who dresses up as Spider-Man when Spidey and Peter need to be seen together . . . ), and Fury-n-Mockingbird are still in play.

Now if you liked the Spidermobile wait until you see the Spider-Sub . . . yeah, that’s right. I said it. I wish I hadn’t, but I had to. The sub has some super-awesome super-spider tech that allows it to project a hologram allowing it to appear as something it’s not. Such as turning into a humpback whale. As dumb as that sounds, Slott felt that triumph was worthy of a flashback of Parker telling Fury his Spider-Sub makes a mean Humpback whale. That happened. The Spider and the Prowler roll up on the super-secret super-bad guy hideout somewhere in the bottom of the ocean and win. They retrieve Parker’s stolen Skynet Rolex but not before Zodiac can send Parker’s encrypted data to every super-secret Zodiac base on the globe. Oh no! Whatever will our heroes do? Just kidding, Fury is on it. They trace all the emails and now S.H.I.E.L.D and our heroes can take the fight to Zodiac . . . hopefully in a super lame Spider-boat or Web-Copter, or maybe on the Spider-Vespa . . .

Have I mentioned I hate this Parker Tech business? I get a strange feeling that all this b.s. is going to unleash some super AI or something along those lines. Face it, no matter how much you dress Parker up he’s going to screw things up royally. Oh, he’ll no doubt save the day at the last possible minute as he tends to do. Slott, please I’m begging you . . . just give me a good ol’ fashioned Spider-Man vs. The Spot arc, and we’ll let bygones be bygones. No harm done.

This is the part where I call Camuncoli out for flat out ripping off Ryan Browne of God Hates Astronauts fame. Just as Spider-Man and the Prowler make it into the super-secret super-bad guy hideout is when it happens . . . a man with a crab for a head. I don’t care that his code name is Cancer. He has a crab for a head. That’s Ryan Browne right there. How many people can think up guys with a crab for a head? Busted, Marvel. Write that man a check. Saw it here first. I’m debating not reading issue #3 in protest. Just kidding . . . I’m going to read it.

Issue #3

At first glance this cover is much, much better, especially with the Human Torch blazing his way across the sky. Boy, I sure do enjoy a Torch/Spidey team up. I believe that’s pretty much a requirement for all Spider-Man fans. A lot of history there. I do feel the need to express my displeasure about the fact that Spider-Man’s symbol on his chest appears to glow now . . . I hate it. Maybe this whole ASM volume is really just a flashback back to sometime around Demon in a Bottle, and Stark is just having a "What If?" kind of drunken hallucination . . . please?

Peter Parker has bought the Baxter Building, and this angers Human Torch. So much so that he and Parker battle it out for a few at the beginning of the book. After the two call a truce Spider-Man takes his buddy on a tour of the new and improved Baxter Building. During said tour we learn that Harry Osborn (now known as Harry Lyman) is running the day to day of the building . . . ok. As the tour passes by Johnny’s room he goes inside to take a peek. It turns out Johnny’s old room is now the new Spider-Garage . . . huh. I know I was totally joking during the bit about all the super lame Spider-Vehicles (except the Spider-Car and Spider-Sub those are totally real . . . with pictures and everything) the last issue, but Johnny Storm made my worst fears a reality when he opened his old bedroom door. We got the new Spider-Mobile, the Spider-Skimmer, Spider-Copter, and Spider-Cycle, just to name a few. This is straight up torture. I hate it.

In other news, The Zodiac attack S.H.I.E.L.D's heli-carrier (which by issue #4 will be named the Spider-Carrier). The main crew of Zodiac reminds me of Battle Beasts and that pleases me. Zodiac puts a real beatdown on Fury and his minions and get away. All the while Peter, Johnny, and Harry are out at the bar drinking nonalcoholic cocktails.

On the last page we are teased with a last panel glimpse of a man in green and purple camo with a bandaged up head that is being identified as . . . Mr. Osborn. Sigh. Too soon. I hate it.

So there it is, as a life long Spidey fan I will honestly say I hate this new run. I hate it. My desire to continue reading this title is rapidly fading. Maybe Spidey and I have come as far as we were meant to come. I have a rule: never abandon a title until the 5^th issue. I figure if you can’t make me want to read your comic by issue #5 then you never will, so ASM has until issue 5 to fix my Spider-Man or our love affair is over. After all, I can get my Spider-Person fix from one of the many Spider-titles out there, and to be perfectly honest there are a lot of GOOD comics coming out by way of Image and other independent creators. So far this is book is the biggest let down of the year and that’s a damn shame.

SEVEN QUESTIONS WITH ROBERT VENDITTI

It seems like yesterday I walked in my local LCS and asked the store owner to recommend a graphic novel that was a “must read”. That book was The Surrogates, and at C2E2 I paid forward that recommendation and bought the entire HCB staff a copy. Getting the opportunity to briefly chat with the creator of this book and so many other quality titles is truly an honor.

Robert Venditti is the New York Times best-selling author of The Homeland Directive and the groundbreaking graphic novel series The Surrogates, which has since been adapted into a feature film starring Bruce Willis. He currently writes for both DC Comics and Valiant, writing four ongoing monthly titles: X-O Manowar, Green Lantern, The Flash, and Wrath of the Eternal Warrior. His debut novel, Miles Taylor and the Golden Cape: Attack of the Alien Horde, was released by Simon & Shuster in June 2015.

REVIEW: Judges #1 - 3

Writer: Ben Miller
Artist: Cory Hamscher
Colors: Sean Forney
Review: Art Bee

Anyone calling themselves a comic enthusiast has to love comic conventions, the small ones as well as the big. Smaller cons are actually where you will find those rare stories that you won’t find at most local stores. Many great comic writers and artists can barely afford to pay for a table at a smaller convention, so larger ones like SDCC and NYCCC are just a goal for them. A comic enthusiast at a small convention, like Kokomocon (www.kokomocon.com)in my local area, can dive in and find a great story to get behind.

Two years ago I met Chris Charlton of Assailant Comics at Kokomocon and have been following a few of his stories since. This year I had the pleasure of meeting Ben Miller, the writer of Judges. While talking to him, the book’s artwork jumped right out at me. Hamscher has a wickedly distinct flow to his drawing that screams action.

REVIEW: Weirdworld #1

Writer: Jason Aaron
Artist: Mike Del Mundo
Review: Will Dubbeld

Ah, Secret War. The Marvel Zombies amongst the HCB need no explanation and the rest of the lot are probably aware of the event via osmosis.
Not to bore the reader base (or myself) with the minutiae of the event, the condensed version is as follows:
Multiverse destroyed, Dr. Doom gets godlike power, salvages bits & pieces of Multiverse and crams them together to form a patchwork planet called Battleworld.
In the wake, Marvel is pumping out what seems like several hundred dozen thousand miniseries highlighting corners of Battleworld, as one does.

Mileage may vary on these, but I've been pleased more than not with the results. Chiefly amongst these is Weirdworld.
Originally a 1970s fantasy comic by creative team Mike Ploog and Doug Moench, writer Jason Aaron mined the Weirdworld name for a new fantasy title starring Arkon of Polemachus, a semi-esoteric other-dimensional warlord best known for sometimes tussling with the Avengers.
The Secret Wars incarnation of Arkon sees the warrior searching the length and breadth of Weirdworld for a way back to his kingdom of Polemachus. Jason Aaron's interpretation of Weirdworld is nothing short of spectacular, and he seems as enamored with Marvel's esoterica as I. This miniseries so far has bestowed upon we reading public the following:

• -Morgan le Fay, dragon-riding baroness of Weirdworld and her army of Lava Men
• -Skull the Slayer. Google him.
• -an underwater ape city called Apelantis.
• -Warbow, from 1983s seminal classic The Saga of Crystar, Crystal Warrior. God bless you, Jason Aaron. God bless you . . .
• -and not to be outdone, in issue 4, a swamp full of Man-Things.

You heard right. Man-Things.

Sidebar, your honor:
Loyal readers may or may not be familiar with my deep, abiding love for shambling vegetable monsters. Swamp Thing, Man-Thing, The Heap, hell, I'll even settle for a Glob or two. So when I heard about a whole swamp full of Man-Things, I could hardly contain myself...

Indeed, after having a hearty tussle with Skull the Slayer, Arkon finds himself trapped in the murky swamp, surrounded by Man-Things. He and Skull attempt to fight off the muck monsters, but are paralyzed and taken before the Queen of the Man-Things.

You guys, this book . . .

The Swamp Queen, revealed to be this realms interpretation of Jennifer Kale, wages a guerrilla war against Morgan le Fay and I don't know if I can adequately express my love for this book. It's just chock full of arcane characters from the dusty corners of the Marvel Universe and plotted like it could have been a sword-and-sandals fantasy VHS from the 1980s
And I mean one of the really good ones, like The Warrior & the Sorceress. Or Deathstalker. The Barbarians, maybe...

Anywho, tormented by visions of an inverted Polemachus in flames and beset by Man-Things, our hero Arkon snatches his quiver of lightning bolts (you read that correctly) and makes good his escape.
Will he find his way back home?
Will Morgan le Fay catch up to our hero?
Will The Orb show up?
Does whatever knows fear burn at the touch of the Man-Thing?

All these questions and more answered in issue 5.

This comic is boatloads of fun, ladies and gentlemen. The subject matter is right in Jason Aaron's wheelhouse. A free for all fantasy-adventure book featuring some of the Mortiest of the Morts seems to really be the perfect vehicle for Aaron to tell a great story.
Still waiting for The Orb to show up...

Mike del Mundo is absolutely murdering it on the art detail, seamlessly dovetailing his art with Jason Aaron's writing. The art's got an almost ethereal, dreamlike quality that lends itself perfectly to the surreal nature of Weirdworld.
Marco D'Alfonso pitches in on color detail with del Mundo and the result is an impressive, soft palette that further enhances the trip down Weirdworld's rabbit hole.

My biggest problem with Weirdworld is the fact that only one issue remains. On the bright side there's been announced a post-Secret War Weirdworld title starring the Black Knight (hopefully sporting a leather jacket and wielding a lightsaber), but we'll have to see if the new creative team can capture that near-lightning in a bottle dynamic that Jason Aaron and Mike del Mundo have.

REVIEW: Dr Strange #1

Writer: Jason Aaron
Artist: Chris Bachalo
Review: William R. Davis Jr.

The Marvel Universe is filled with infinite possibilities – infinite possibilities that are left unexplored far too often in my opinion. My favorite titles from the publisher have always been Silver Surfer, Dr. Strange, and The Fantastic Four (RIP), so my tastes definitely lie in the realm of fantasy and science fiction – books focusing on making the impossible possible. When Marvel does this well, their story arcs can rival any publisher in the medium of sequential art.

About a year ago I wrote a pretty vitriolic review of Silver Surfer. We all know that Mike Allred knows his way around a pen, but what left me disappointed was the wasted potential and the wannabe Whovian garbage after all of that anticipation from Dan Slott. Since issue one the book has found its legs to an extent, but I wanted to be the one to pen this review to see if Marvel could really speak to their hardcore fan base with their re-launch of Dr. Strange, and hopefully in some way make up for their Surfer sacrilege.

I have been a Dr. Strange fan for years, rummaging through stacks of hand me downs from my brother who may be the biggest Strange fan in the history of the world. Seriously. It’s true. Even at a young age I thought that “Sorcerer Supreme” sounded a bit like a Taco Bell value item, but other than that each issue was fuel for the imagination.

Jason Aaron and Chris Bachalo are the perfect creative team to re-introduce Stephen Strange to the Marvel Universe. Starting with a backdrop that served as a great homage to Steve Ditko, issue one was non-stop action with a brief respite at a magician’s only pub that may have been my favorite part of the entire book.

Although Dr. Strange wields great power after his transformation from crippled surgeon to magical guru, his human flaws still remain keeping him grounded and searching for balance. While the “ladies man” trope used by Iron Man, Daredevil, and Dr. Strange tends to wear really thin, Aaron adds just enough to show human vice without being overly cringe worthy.

The fact that Bachalo pencils and inks his own books gives the issue a distinct feel that makes him a great fit. Stylistically he is a great choice for the re-launch. With an ominous warning at the end of issue one that left me wanting more, I for one am definitely excited to see where this series is headed. It is way too early to tell if Aaron and Bachalo are going to be able come to give us a run that could rival the fabled Brian K. Vaughn miniseries or Steve Ditko’s early work, but the first issue has given me hope that this new incarnation of Stephen Strange will be a welcome addition to the already rich legacy of Marvel’s Sorcerer Supreme.

REVIEW: Dr1ve #1

Writer: Michael Benedetto
Pencils: Antonio Fuso
Inks: Emilio Lecce
Colors: Jason Lewis
Review: Cody "Madman" Miller

I don’t know why, but the first thing I thought of when I saw this cover was Miami Vice. The purple city skyline and lettering like a neon sign . . .
Don’t get me wrong here; I was by no means excited by this. I could give two shits about Don Johnson and his television program.

My second observation was that the guy looking through the review mirror has a strong resemblance to Bryan Cranston’s character Walter White at first glance. Thinking this made me think of John Goodman’s character Walter Sobchak in The Big Lebowski and that made me smile.

Calmer then you are.