Saturday, June 27, 2015

REVIEW: Secret Six #3

Writer: Gail Simone
Artist: Dale Eaglesham
Colorist: Jason Wright
Review: Art Bee

Recently DC and Marvel have been making poor decisions regarding their intellectual properties. I followed along cringing with the reboots, but I liked a few of the changes. The Big 2 are currently revamping and redesigning their stories, characters, and even the environment in which they exist. This is bad for us older comic fans for it means the death of the characters we have loved during our lives. Revamping means killing what the hero or story was and slapping the old label on something new. Marvel and DC are trading in their long term fanfare for a new younger generation.

My suggestion is to create new characters in the same flavor of the old ones and have them exist in their own element. The Multiverse. It was a great tool to enable creativity and expansion. If Marvel and DC really wanted to attract newer and younger readers, they should reduce the number of comic books focused on one story element to one or two QUALITY books and put the extra effort into a new segment of the multiverse which targets the desired demographic. Seriously, six or seven Avengers comic books revolving around the same event is really old and overkill.

As of two months ago, I have officially dropped all Marvel and DC books except for Amazing Spider-Man, Star Wars, Darth Vader, and Secret Six, and the latter is on the chopping block at the moment as well.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

REVIEW: The Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows #1

Writer: Dan Slott
Pencils: Adam Kubert
Inks: John Dell
Colors: Justin Ponson
Reviews: Madman (1st) & Rynae “Madwoman” Miller (2nd)

First Review

So, we here at the HCB decided to mix it up a bit and do some duel reviews team-up style with our main womans. Art Bee and his daughter did a review a few weeks back to kick off Estrogen Month here at the HCB. So . . . I had to think on what book to hand my wife to review. She never reads comics and has shown zero real interest in comics . . . ever, except maybe to tell me to get them off the coffee table. I was really surprised she actually agreed to this fiasco in the first place, so I had to tread carefully and try and not turn her off of comics for good. Thanks to this Secret Wars business that’s currently going on over at Marvel the answer just kind of fell into my lap with this new Renew Your Vows series.

In this Spiderverse Peter and MJ are married and has a daughter named Annie, which is cool. I’ve always liked the idea of Spider-Man having children. I really liked that about the Mayday Spider-Woman books, and I’m an instant fan of Annie here.

Friday, June 5, 2015

Like A Velvet Glove Cast in Iron, A Tragedy or at the Very Least a Great Pain in the Ass, told in 1 part.

I've just recently, within the past 3 or so years, gotten into the works of Daniel Clowes. I think I was peripherally aware of him back when the Ghost World movie was released and it was super popular for a hot minute. Other than that I was largely ignorant of his body of work aside from an ad I'd seen on the back of an old issue of Usagi Yojimbo.
Although that may have been an ad for a Peter Bagge book...
Hell, I dunno...

Anywho, a couple-or-perhaps-three years ago the staff of the HCB made a pilgrimage to Wizard World Chicago in order to pay homage to our ancestors and buy nerd-swag. A good time was had by all, longboxes were pawed through, and I got Boba Fett's autograph.

Jeremy Bulloch. Not the little kid from Episode II.
Jeremy is an exceedingly polite Englishman, and we had a nice conversation about the dearly departed Irvin Kershner, of whom he spoke quite fondly.

Paul Jenkins and Mark Texeira were also very friendly, though I suspect my girlfriends bosom-hugging Supergirl shirt may have contributed somewhat to their good cheer . . .

After the con, Chicago pizza, some games and lots of drinks, we retired to a mildly shady motel off the interstate that was located within walking distance of a strip club for your convenience. This motel also may have been featured in a news report about that guy who had murdered like 30 girls in the Gary region over the years, but I couldn't say for sure.
Although I'm fairly certain it's the same one.

The next morning was a tad bittersweet, as our site founder and brother-in-arms William Davis was leaving within the fortnight for South Korea to teach English to wee South Korean children. And to drink copious amounts of cheap Korean beer.
In any case, that morning William posed the following question:
"Hey, does anybody want to buy some statues? I can't get anything out of them at the local shops and I'm not taking them to Korea".

We all knew damn well what he meant by statues. Not garden statuary, library busts or the like.

We were talkin' comic book statues.

I gave fellow feature writer Cody Miller the first crack at them.
He had seniority.

Cody said something along the lines of, "Man, I have like 8 dollars left".

I told William I could give him $50 for the lot of them, and a look crossed his face that said he'd really like to get more than $50 for them.

"Yeah, I can do fifty. I know they'll be going to a good home".

The deal was sealed, money and statuary exchanged hands.

Full disclosure:
I really only wanted the Jesse Custer and Rorschach statues, but there were a couples more in the lot.
One in particular caught my eye. A slightly pickaninny-looking character that could be construed as a bit of a racist caricature by some of the more thin-skinned amongst us.

"What the hell is a Pogeybait?", I asked, holding aloft the odd fellow.

Mr. Davis went on to explain, a bit excitedly, that Pogeybait was a character in the indy comics written by this Daniel Clowes fellow.
I made a mental note, along with some other tidbits William gave me about my new acquisitions.
(Sorry, Waffles, I still haven't checked out that Chris Ware book...)

Quantum Leap forward a month or so, and I finally was on the hunt for some Clowes material. I figured if I was going to be the caretaker of this statue I'd better read up on him. Before long I'd found an inexpensive used copy of Twentieth Century Eightball and I was off to the races.
I loved it. Clowes comics were nearly Second Wave Of Underground Comics-style work, mixing that recipe of juvenile humor, acerbic wit, social commentary and raciness.
In the next year or so I picked Death Ray and Wilson, both excellent works, and always was I watchful for more.

Not that I couldn't order anything I wanted from the Daniel Clowes bibliography off the internets, but the chase is half the fun.
Right, kids?

Which brings us to ...A Velvet Glove.
Soon. I'll get there, don't fret.

Some years ago my parents retired to a quaint little village on the Ohio River. A nice little burg with a hippy -dippy art community, great architecture, and a hole in the wall pub with one of the best goddamn burgers I've had in recent history. Nestled amongst the downtown shops, across from the antique stores and down the street from the ice cream parlor, is a used DVD/video game store. The kind with just stacks and stacks of movies and bits of other assorted ephemera.
I'd pop in most times when I was down visiting my parents. I like to paw through movies and it's always good to strike up a bit of a rapport with merchants.

And then one day there were longboxes in the store.

Hot damn, we're in business now. We were talking the kind of flea-market longboxes, the dingy ones, devoid of bags and boards and plenty of spine curl and folded corners.
The fun ones to dig through.

Soon after that, bookshelves went up. The kind of bookshelves you put graphic novels and hardcover collections on.

I bought Marvel Masterworks editions of Young Allies and Rawhide Kid from this dude, because he sold them to me dirt cheap.
Reference the aforementioned rapport...

My last trip 'round, last month , yielded a great haul. There were 3 Will Eisner books I hadn't previously owned and lo! Some Daniel Clowes books.
One was his Caricature collection, and the other was Like A Velvet Glove Cast in Iron. What luck!
All these books were between $2-$4 apiece, and that, dear readers, was a done deal. I loaded up my arms, zippety do dah'd to the register and headed home with my fresh nerd loot.
I hadn't even looked at the books to speak of, certainly hadn't examined them, as I was too excited by my find to rationally make a decision more advanced than "buy product!"

So imagine my consternation when I discovered Like A Velvet Glove... had at some point been the recipient of some water damage and subsequently the pages had welded to one another after they had dried.

Fuck. Beans.

I really wanted to read this book. I'd eyeballed the book online for quite awhile but had balked at buying it because I tow the line between "$8.99? I bet I can find this cheaper somewhere..." and "$125 for the book club edition of Captain Marvel and the Monster Society of Evil? I'm in..."

I've some experience with book-shepherding, so I gingerly attempted to separate the pages. Almost the entirety of the book had pages stuck together in the bottom quarter of the book, nearest the spine.
Which meant every seventh panel in the nine panel layout on every page was illegible.
Goddammit.

My efforts were unsuccessful, netting a result of some pages getting separated but for the most part gained naught but torn pages.
Perseverance soon gave way to frustration and I put the book away. In my luggage, to be revisited at a later date.
I briefly bandied about the idea of taking the book back to the shop, but opted not.
It was a $2 purchase, not a high dollar expenditure. I'm fairly certain the proprietor wasn't sequestered in his lair, twisting his mustache and thinking, "Nyah-ha! I finally got some clueless rube to buy that damaged Clowes book! Thanks for the two dollars!"

Plus at this point it was a war of attrition between me and this damaged book...

Upon my return home I did some research, didn't find many realistic options I was ready to explore, and certainly wasn't willing to spend any money on getting this book professionally repaired.
I'd already spent 2 whole dollars, after all...

At the end of the day, I threw caution to the wind and attempted a slapdash rendition of one repair technique.

Do not replicate this on any book you want to keep intact...

I started by running each page under hot water at the stuck point. Each page. One at a time.
It worked. The hot water broke whatever hellish grasp the pages had on one another and separation occurred.
On the downside, I was fully aware that once the pages dried, they would simply stick back together.
A mixture of lackadaisical apathy and good old American laziness led me to an answer.

I'd freeze-dry that sumbitch.

It's sound logic, but not quite a task your Friendly Neighborhood Refrigerator Freezer is up to.

But that's what I've got, so into the freezer went Like A Velvet Glove...

As a great aside, this served to confuse my girlfriend who, upon returning home from vacation, discovered a comic book in the freezer with no explanation as to why.

After a couple of weeks in the freezer I got bored with the whole thing. I was ready to render this book to a readable state or call it a loss ad buy a replacement.

But I'd already spent those 2 dollars, so I had a pretty good idea where I was going with this...

The freeze drying process actually kind of worked and many of the pages had separated and the moisture had been expunged via freezing.
The middle of the book, however, was a solid frozen mass of ice and comic book.
Utterly defeating the point of my freeze-drying , my impatience compelled me to throw the book into the microwave and start thawing/drying it in 20 second bursts.
The attempt to thaw was much more successful than the attempt to dry, and at the end of the day I was left wet pages that would stick back together once the pages dried.

Which was exactly where I was before I threw the sucker into the freezer.

Not willing to go through this freezer business again, I opted for plan B. Daniel Clowes was simply taking up too much valuable pizza roll space.
Plan B (From Outer Space...) involved suspending the book in front of a high-powered fan, leafing through the pages one by one to prevent sticking, and thinking, "Really? Two dollars?".

That was 2 days ago.

I've been blow-drying this thing for 2 days, and it seems to have worked. Everything is nearly dry, but at the expense of the structural integrity of the book. The spine is cracked nearly a quarter of the way up the lengthy, and the bottom half of the book is so flared out and rippled from water damage I may have to park my car on the thing in order to press it flat. In all honesty in may only peripherally resemble flat once it's all said and done.

Soon I'll be able to read the book, however, and really that was all I was after in the first place. I'd prefer to have a nice, pristine copy, devoid of water damage and frustration, but such is life.
The fan is still whirring in the other room, putting the final drying on Like A Velvet Glove . . . and I may see if some of my artsy friends have anyone in their collective network who can rebind books .

For a reasonable fee, of course.

After all, I've already spent two dollars on the book . . .

Monday, May 25, 2015

REVIEW: Psycho Bonkers #1

Today at the HCB, we’ve decided to mix things up a bit and have feature writer Art Bee and his daughter Ally (age 8) review the same book. Look for more amazingly amazing innovations from the Hammond Comics Blog in the near future, but without further ado here’s The Hammond Comics Blog Super-Hero Father/Daughter Team-Up!

Story: Vince Hernandez
Artwork: Adam Archer
Colors: Federico Blee
Reviews: Ally Bee (1st) & Art Bee (2nd)

First Review-
I really liked Psycho Bonkers. The artwork is very outstanding. The colors are pretty, and there is a lot of detail. The cars look really cool, too. Shine, the main person, lost her Mom and her Grandpappy, but she was as good a bonk racer as her Grandpappy. The best part about the comic is the futuristic racing.

Second Review-
Prior to this book the only other exposure to Aspen Comics I have had was Fathom, Vol. 1. Fathom had some truly awesome artwork, but the story was dry, slow, and a bit torturous. Psycho Bonkers has given me some hope on the latter for Aspen.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

REVIEW: Spider-Woman #7

Writer: Dennis Hopeless
Penciler: Javier Rodriguez
Inker: Alvaro Lopez
Colorist: Muntsa Vicente
Review: Cody "Madman" Miller

I have been enjoying the hell out of this title; I’d literally give every issue a thumbs up. Now, one could argue that my man crush on Spider-Man has somewhat biased my opinion towards his female spider-kin, and I’m sure that’s about right. No doubt my puberty-infested, angst-ridden younger self eagerly snatched handfuls of the early 80s Jessica Drew books . . . because . . . Spider-Man with boobies! The early 90s ushered in Vol. 2 with its amazing run of four issues and I was there. Mattie Franklin takes up the mantle in Vol 3 in the mid to late 90s and pretty much sealed the deal for me there. I don’t care how much my friends made fun of me, I stood behind Mattie then and I stand behind her now. Comics and I went our separate ways for a number of years about the time that run was coming to an end, so I don’t know those other gals that were after Mattie. I’m sure they were nice . . .

Yeah, I was super excited for the present day (vol. 5, by my count) incarnation of Spider-Woman.
Jessica Drew, in her own series again, has just recently left the Avengers in hopes of living a “normal” life.
Spoiler alert! That’s not going to happen.

The current story arc has She-Spidey teamed up with the gottdamn Porcupine! That’s right, I said the Porcupine. Fantastic! More then anything in comics I love D-list super villains. More specifically I love the D-listers who are so ridiculous that they refuse to go away, for example, the gottdamn Porcupine. Or how about the Kangaroo who’s endearing mug graces the cover of this very issue? The best team-up ever is investigating the disappearances of a large number of the families of super villains. Towards the end of this issue it’s revealed that these families are all living in some kind of beret-wearing militant feminist commune that is apparently run by some as of yet unknown dame named Cat. On the last page of the book Cat bursts through the wall to confront Spider-Woman, now when I first saw Cat referenced I immediately assumed we were talking about the Black Cat here, so you can imagine my surprise when Cat turns out to be an enraged psycho operating some sort of Caterpillar backhoe/super robot mech suit kinda thing . . . Yeah, it's intense but at least Porcupine is here to save the gottdamn day.

As for the spit and polish, the writing has been fresh and fun and the art has been fantastic. It’s to bad Marvel is about to jack up the MU and this and many other good books all in the name of their newest “mega event” . . . and that’s a shame

Buncha dicks . . .

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Free Comic Book Day 2015

First Saturday in May. Free Comic Book Day. It's like Nerd Christmas, but the weather is better.
Every year the stalwart staff of the Hammond Comics Blog treks across the urban landscape and visits brick and mortar shops for funnybooks and perhaps door prizes and snacks.
A sampling of our collective FCBD loot is reviewed herein.

Reviewer: Art Bee

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Publisher: IDW
Writer: Kevin Eastman, Bobby Curnow, & Tom Waltz
Art: Mateus Santolouco, Dan Duncan, Ross Campbell, & Cory Smith

This was not the first book I grabbed, but it was the first I read, and it was truly a difficult read. The story was hard to follow mainly due to all of the recapping. I believe this book was to bring new people to reading the ongoing series, but the problem with their approach revolves around their delivery. They are recapping in a language fitting for people familiar to the story line. This made me feel like I walked into a women’s conversation about menstrual cramps. Awkward and out of place.

The artwork shifted from really good to slightly distorted, but the colors were great.
As an aside, I would have really liked to have seen April. She only appears in one small poorly done panel. A huge demerit issued to them from those of us who used to have a massive crush on this fine news reporter.

Friday, May 1, 2015

REVIEW: Justice League Dark #40

Writer: J.M. DeMatteis
Penciller: Andres Guinaldo
Review: Will Dubbeld

I'm not shy about expressing my dislike for DCs Nu52. Borderline hatred, really. I understand the logic behind the original Crisis on Infinite Earths. The company's continuity had been bogged down by Silver Ages and Earth-12s and all kinds of convoluted types of Kryptonite. Resetting the timeline and universe made sense. Flashpoint and the dreck it has wrought, however, is in no way bueno. I could launch a lengthy diatribe detailing whys and who's and whatnots, but I'll spare you, Loyal Readers, the pain.

Fanboy pouting aside, Flashpoint wiped clean my beloved DCU and replaced it with 52 new titles, amongst them Justice League Dark. My curiosity was piqued as I've a love for the supernatural. Dr. Strange, Dr. Fate, Man-Thing, Swamp Thing, Hawkman reincarnations and all the Rintrah you can eat. Gimmie all of that. Justice League Dark had a knockout cast of characters and killer scribe Peter Milligan at the helm when the book launched, so I bit. DC had me for 2.99.

Because, y'know, DC Comics is drawing the line at 2.99 . . .

Unfortunately, JLD did not deliver. Some of the early arcs were fair to good, but nothing melted my face off like a book with Swamp Thing, Frankenstein’s Monster, and the House of Mystery should have.

I dunno, maybe DCs stellar editorial is to blame but only by a mixture of ankle-chewing Chihuahua-like tenacity and plain dumb loyalty did I stick with this book. Milligans tenure came and went; Jeff Lemire stepped up to the plate and pitched for a couple of innings, and J.M. DeMatteis finished out the series.

Now, DeMatteis has written some stellar books, some jaw-droppingly good and important comics.

Justice League Dark is not amongst them.

I'm not even saying this as a bitter old bastard fanboy; I'm convinced that JLD is just legitimately sub-par work. The latest arc involved the League attempting to stave off a universe-consuming force called Pralaya. For the rubes, including myself before some quick research, Pralaya is a term in Hindu mythology detailing a period of dissolution where there exists nothing but void. That's an extremely dumbed down explanation. Pralaya has several incarnations involving the lifetime of Brahma and the rebirth of the universe and the non-existence of existence and other deeply philosophical and thought provoking themes that are cause for head scratching.

But whatever, Crom laughs at your Pralaya.

Anyhow, this issue of Justice League Dark finds all of creation destroyed save the House of Mystery and some magical simulacra of Zatanna and John Constantine. Pralaya soon will claim the House of Mystery and its occupants and all will be swallowed by oblivion.

So can we talk about Nu52 John Constantine for a minute? Fans of the dear departed Hellblazer series know where I'm going with this . . .
Constantine used to be a very subtle magician, weaving coincidental magic using the reliquary of Saint Dismas and the breath of a starling as it flew overhead or somesuch. Hellblazer wasn't about the magic so much as it was about the John Constantine character, his numerous flaws and relative few strong points, his interactions with an endless list of doomed friends, lovers and acquaintances, and occasionally he hung out with Morpheus and Swamp Thing.

On the other hand, Nu52 Constantine pals around with superfolks, blasting lightning bolts from one hand and wielding a +4 longsword in the other, and his characterization can be boiled down to, "Oi! I can't be trusted and I'm kind of a prick! But without the nuances and charm I once had! Fancy a shag, love?"

Nu52 John Constantine is basically dickhead Dr. Strange, but nowhere near as endearing.

But whatever, at least he still smokes.

In any case, the swan song of JLD is barely a warble. The story plods a bit, and then neatly wraps itself up with a bright spot in the clever use of Swamp Thing, his connection to the World Tree, and use of The Green to rebirth the multiverse after its consumption by Pralaya. I quite enjoyed that bit of writing.

At the end of the day, the League disbands because surprise nobody can trust Constantine and surprise Constantine is abandoned and alone at the end.

Get it? Because that's his thing? All his friends either leave him or they get killed?

It's utterly disappointing, because with the exception of the reprehensibly terrible Nightmare Nurse character, all of the other cast members were potentially great.
Zatanna, Swamp Thing, Deadman, Madame Xanadu, all of these are great, well established (albeit largely B-Grade) characters who have been underutilized and mishandled in this series. I stuck it out for the duration in hopes that the book would pick up, but I just saw diminishing returns every month.
Perhaps a more entertaining treatment of the Justice League Dark will appear after Convergence or Crisis pt. 6 or whatever DC inflicts upon us this year. Here's to hoping...

On the bright side the issue I purchased featured a variant cover homage to the Beetlejuice movie poster, so that was fun.

Unfortunately the fun, for the most part, stopped at the front cover.

Swing and a miss, DC.

Swing and a miss . . .